Do words really matter?

I received this beautiful email from a lady yesterday and it made me realise that in sharing my story, it is having an impact on other people's lives in a positive way. 

"I heard you speaking on Dublin City FM with Danielle a couple of weeks ago and your voice went straight into my heart. I can not tell you how your words inspired me with your calm strength in all that you have come through. I immediately went online and ordered your book, I couldn't wait to read your story and as I did, it opened up so much healing for me. I had felt lost and alone in my pain and hearing you that day made me feel like someone understood what I had been feeling for years. I devoured your book, I just could not leave it down. My heart felt at times as if it was going to burst with sadness and then with joy. I am finally starting to feel free. I have since booked an appointment to see a counsellor in my area, it's time to let go of the past, I have lived there long enough. I am now excited for my future. I want to join you on your Camino walks next year as I have not only kept my pain hidden, but also the real me. I was afraid of not being good enough. I now know I am good enough. Thank you Sharon, you may never fully realise the impact your story has on others but I am letting you know that it has changed my life. I hope I get to meet you in person someday, maybe on the Camino trip or on one of your healing retreats, but know you are never far away from my thoughts and that they are full of gratitude now. Diane"

As I told Danielle Serpico of Mind Matters on Dublin City FM , I started writing my book as a way to release my own inner feelings and thoughts, to help me break free from being a prisoner of my own painful past. I never truly believed I would go on to publish my book, it is like it took on a life of its own and people really resonated with my experiences, or certain aspects of my past that had affected me on so many levels where I had at one point contemplated suicide.

Sharing my story was allowing my real self to be seen -flaws and all. It helped people to understand that we are not alone in our pain and struggles, that no matter what you go through, there is someone else that has shared a similar experience and have too wanted to create a change in their lives, but weren't sure what steps to take. For me the more I opened up and shared my truth with whomever wanted to listen or read my story, I found that my story became their story. It was now a gateway for some people to open the door of the past and start to acknowledge that they too were a prisoner of their past and it was time to step out into the open to reveal themselves.  This is not always that easy as there is a certain amount of shame and guilt associated with hiding our dirty secrets of the past and fear of being judged by others is the biggest thing holding us all back. 

I promise, like all of you, I too was so scared of revealing my true self and telling everyone what I had endured, not just by the choices other people made, but by the choices that I made at a time of now knowing or understanding anything different. It wasn't until I started to explore my inner self and become more aware of who I was at that time and who I truly wanted to be. I was learning who I wanted to become, it was like reinventing myself, from a person that had no self-belief or self-worth for most of her life, now she was going to step out into the unknown and take it one day at a time. It was the best step I have ever taken but I had to take it one step at a time!

I read books by Anita Moorjani, Dannion Brinkley, Wayne Dyer, Deepak Chopra and so many other wonderful teachers and authors that had inspired me to stop looking outside of myself for the solution and to start looking within, their words helped me to feel empowered and secure in the knowledge that maybe I could get through this stage of my life where I had only felt darkness and they helped me find my inner light. Their words helped me. I found tools and techniques that helped me heal and I learned and studied them without realising that I would go on to use them in my own wellness practise to help others to this day. 

For me, words have such power. We can use them in a positive way to help and inspire others. Since my book was published last December, I have given many interviews and written blogs and posts about how I felt many years ago and how I feel now.  I am not numb anymore, I can now really feel with a passion what I want to do with my life, who I want to help and how I can make even a little difference in the world. This is not just because I published a book, no, this is as a human being. We all have the power inside of us to share a positive word with our family, friends, colleague, or even a stranger. When we are online to support the people you are in contact with, give them a thumbs up, show them that their words matter. Human interaction has become something of a novelty in our society, let's try and bring it back into fashion and be more open and aware of each other. Take the time to really listen to each others words and share your stories. 

Sharon Fitzmaurice is a Holistic Wellness Coach & Author based in Co. Galway. She facilitates clients and groups in workshops, training and retreats to help promote self-awareness and personal development through mindfulness, meditation, clinical hypnotherapy, reiki, talk therapy, and also speaking at public events or seminars on helping you awaken your potential. 

Find your stride

Only last night as I was working with my Mindfulness group in Tuam, we explored the idea of taking things in our stride or finding our own pace, in a world where we are told to grow up, pass all your exams, be successful, get a job, buy a house, save your money, it is all like running a race where there is no finish line!

Where are we all running to ? As I said in my group last night, the end point for all of us is physical departure from this world,  and in that moment will you look back and think "yeah I really got through that life quickly!" Believe it or not, most people feel that they missed a lot of life by working so hard, spending too much time getting 'things' done and missing out on what is truly important. So what's the rush?

Society has taught us that we must be 'doing' something all of the time or we are just wasting time. I disagree, in the moments that I have spend meditating or walking, I don't consider it to be nothing, I actually believe it is the one of the most vital parts of my day. In that time, I allow myself to be mindful of my surroundings, to focus on how I feel and accept whatever arises for me in that moment.  I also get some of my most splendid ideas and inspirations by taking time out to ground and balance my energy - mind, body and soul. 

I have walked some of the Camino de Santiago and each time the experience is different. I love that feeling of not knowing what the day or route ahead will lay in store for me, I can't plan what the weather will be like and no matter hail, rain or shine, I will soak up (excuse the pun) the experience. I suppose in a way, doing the Camino has taught me that this is a challenge that I have chosen, words said by a beautiful lady with Multiple Sclerosis who joined us on last May's trip. That each day we are faced with many challenges and instead of worrying about not being able to face them, we simply ask ourselves, what can I do today to help myself get through this? We take it one step at a time, one day at a time. We can't figure out what to do about something that hasn't happened yet, we can only focus on what is happening right now. 

Yes of course you have to plan for the future, I wouldn't have any work or adventures if I didn't plan., but instead of over thinking and analysing all that you want to do with your life and career, start trusting yourself a little bit more. When we allow ourselves to be mindfully focused on the present and how we are feeling, we will form a better and deeper understanding of what feels right for us and work towards creating that dream or vision into becoming a reality in our lives. We start with one small step and build on it day by day. Nothing is ever an overnight success, people you see and admire have worked very hard, sometimes for many years to be where they are today and they continue to live their lives and build their dreams. They trust and believe in themselves. 

So a little reminder to us all today, life is not a race, we are all winners if we allow ourselves to go at our own pace and take things in our stride. Listen to your intuition,  do what creates the most joy in your life, be with the people that bring out the best in you., be your most fabulous unique self and walk tall. 

Happy days, Sharon

Holistic Wellness Coach & Author

Deepening your connection to Self & Spirit

Last weekend I had the privilege of taking my 15th group away on a weekend retreat to the beautiful Boghill Centre in Kilfenora in Co. Clare. Returning to the centre is like coming home for me, it is a place of warmth, comfort, peace and we are always welcomed with a warm embrace and nurtured by the surroundings and fabulous food all weekend. 

Our beautiful workshop space nestled in the trees 

The theme for the retreat was deepening your connection to self and spirit, a theme that I was inspired to create seeing the amount of people who attend my client clinics or meditation groups and workshops who seem to have lost a sense of connection not only to themselves, but also to their surroundings and that includes the people they share it with. This also includes myself. We believe we are deeply connected as we move through life as such a fast pace, but it is only when we stop and listen, do we realise how far removed we are from truly understanding all that we are thinking and feeling. When you become more self-aware, you start to realise that you are not truly connected at all. We may have lost our sense of purpose, unable to feel a passion for what we are doing and life just seems to carry us along with no feeling of us being the creators of our destinies. 

 I feel that we are being guided more and more to reconnecting to our true selves, who we are now and learning to accept the present moment without judgement and learning to change the things we do not like one step at a time. But first we must sit and listen to our inner voice and what it is trying to tell us. This weekend allowed space and time for myself and the group to do just that, through meditation, mindful practices and also support work in the group. 

When we allow ourselves to be immersed in the richness of the energy of any group, we start to open up and resonate with what others are feeling, it brings out so many feelings that when in a safe environment, that vulnerability is a strength in connection between our hearts and minds. Together we find solace in knowing that we are not alone in our fears and worries, our past traumas are familiar to others too, there is no shame in speaking your truth. In fact once you open up to your own truth, there is a freedom in energy that is palpable, others respond to you and a healing takes place that there are no words for, it is felt and seen by each person on a deeper level than ever before. Tears fall slowly down the cheeks, your breathing changes and you feel within the pit of your stomach a stirring that is rising to the surface, you are finally allowing yourself to break free from the restraints you had bound yourself to for far too long. It may have felt like you were keeping yourself safe and protecting yourself from what you most feared, but in fact you were only keeping it locked inside to grow bigger and stronger, believing that if you didn't look at it, feel it or understand it, it would just disappear. Only when we face our biggest fear, learn to befriend it and learn from it will be free of it. This is our truth, to reveal ourselves flaws and all, this is where our power lies in creating change within ourselves and others. When we truly connect to life, we connect to the wholeness of our spirit. 

This is when the true transformation takes place. You may think that one weekend couldn't possible help anyone with a life filled with pain and hurt but I have seen the biggest changes to people's mindsets within one single session of deep connection to self. Sometimes we are unaware of what the root cause of our issues may be and with support, you can get to the bottom of anything, but it has to be a choice made by the individual in that they want to create a change in their own life as they know there is so much else they have to offer the world.  They want to be part of it, to live it and to feel that they are too valued and accepted for who they are. We all deserve this but first you must commit to giving yourself the space and time to do so. It is not just for people that consider themselves spiritual, it is for everyone, a longing within your heart that calls out from the depths of your soul that you are more than your pain and sorrows that are buried deep within the caverns of your heart. It is a heavy weight to carry all by yourself, so in sharing and supporting each other through the process, we find ways to understand and accept how it all feels right now, we are not our past, we don't live there anymore, we can't change anything, only how we respond to our memories of it now. We transform how we react to the thoughts and beliefs that we once believed as our truth,  we start to remember that we are more than our past and we can become whomever we choose to be, but that starts with the acceptance of who we are now. In time we will be able to come out of our past cocoons and start to gently spread our wings, to be seen for who we truly are and take flight beyond where we once believed we could never go, past our own limitations.

To me, connecting to self and others in the vital ingredient to our well being. This weekend like many of my weekends, I have seen people transform in front of my eyes, I have seen them grow into their own hearts and allow themselves to be filled with hope and joy, to believe that they are stronger than they believed and that no matter what challenges they face in life, they now realise they have the inner strength and courage to face it. Retreats are not just to get away from reality, but to understand what your reality is and find ways in which you learn to cope with the many daily struggles we all face. In doing so, you allow yourself time to reconnect to that deeper part of you that wants to break out into the world and be seen. 

I am deeply grateful for my journey and in sharing it with others, I have learned that I am growing stronger each and every day, in turn I am helping others to find their strength which allows us all to shine our light in this world. If you only do one thing for yourself each day, let it be the most important thing in taking time to connect to you, you are so worth it. Keep things simple and find peace even in the midst of chaos, smile and know that this too will pass. 

With love & blessings to you all

Sharon